The Mad Mumbler’s Party

Like the mad hatter, with his March hare, and sleepy dormouse, — Alice in Wonderland,– these three characters are waiting to get in to the first dinner seating which is at 4:15, more or less.

I woke from a nap, looked at my casio watch, misread it, and got up to the dining room at 4pm.

At 4:05 – Charlie Mumbles arrives with his Rollator filled with clothing for any weather or season, and the following dialogue ensues:

Charlie: Hi Dabid

Me: Hi Charlie

Charlie: When do we go in?

Me: What?

(I happen to know he goes in on the 2nd shift at 5:15)

Charlie: My watch says (garbled)

Me: I thought you’re on the 2nd shift?

Charlie: I understand. I’m waiting for the 2nd shift.

(A woman with her marbles, the woman with no name, enters on her rollator where she watches fake wrestling all day)

Charlie: I’m not the first shift anymore I’m the 2nd shift, I changed over about a month ago. (True).

Me: So now you’re on the 2nd shift?

Charlie: That’s right. That’s what I’m waiting for.

Me: No. The second shift is later.

(I turn to the woman watching wrestling who I’ve already exchanged glances with and shrug my shoulders. In one last attempt I show Charlie my watch. It says: 4:15.)

Instead of reacting or seeing the time, he says: Very nice!

Charlie notices the woman with no name. And he shows his watch to her.

Charlie: How are you miss no name?

And for the first time I see his watch, and a) it is big with an LCD for a blind man and b) the time is wrong. It say’s 5:15!

So she picks up on this and says to Charlie: you’re watch is wrong! (You do have to yell a little at some point.)

And I repeat, practically screaming in his ear: Your watch is an hour fast. It’s 4:15 not 5:15.

Charlie looks me dead in the face, lifts up the dark glasses he’s been wearing. And says: well time to eat, I guess. I’ll have my case worker fix this soon.

Waitress as he tries to make his way behind the line or Rollators: No Charlie. This is the first shift. You’re on the 2nd shift. And he shows her his big incorrect watch and concludes:

Why is that man seated at my table…?

Published by Dave

My name is David Beckerman. I am a fine art photographer working in New York City. Or I was before I had two strokes. I now write from a Nursing Home.

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